Coconut milk ice cream, calisthenics and the links I know you love

Hey all! Well it was a big weekend again. We had friends over on Friday night and I made spaghetti and meat sauce, with garlic bread on the side. That’s a non-paleo meal if ever I saw one, but it was the best we could throw together in a hurry. It was all still gluten free and delicious, but a lot of refined carbs I probably didn’t need. Still, the next day was spent in 104ยบ heat building a deck for my older sister, so I suppose I probably wasn’t hurting too badly. The day after that was my highway cleanup with Zombie Squad. ZS is a disaster preparedness group, and we’re big on community service. We adopted a highway last year and it’s been a lot of fun going up there a couple times a year with the guys and cleaning it up.

So a busy weekend, right? I also made some coconut milk ice cream on Sunday, and I’m going to treat you guys to one of my totally-not-at-all-annoying recipes. I say annoying because I don’t really do recipes like most people. Not sure why not, but maybe I’m a free spirit. Here goes:

Here’s our can of coconut milk and our raw, unfiltered honey. We’ll need one can of coconut milk and 1/4 cup of honey. Put these into a small saucepan over low heat, and whisk to combine. Just let it sit while you gather everything else you need.

We’ll also need 1 tsp of some kind of extract. You don’t add it yet, but you’ll need it. I’m doing mint chocolate chip, so here’s my mint extract:

You might notice, if you look closely, that this is not, in fact, mint extract. It’s spearmint essential oil. I did not look closely. I did not realize that there is a difference between extract and essential oil. I was in for a surprise.

Two egg yolks, ideally from some eggs you love as hard as I love my Vital Farms eggs.

Get those yolks. Put ‘em in a bowl. Wait for it…

That’s the ticket. Scramble those little bastards.

okay, this is the tricky part. It’s not actually very tricky, but it’s the trickiest part of making ice cream. Or rather, it should be. Apparently when you’re me, the trickiest part is reading comprehension. *Sigh* Okay, you’re going to temper these eggs. That means taking a small ladle of the now-warm coconut milk/honey mixture and pouring it into the eggs while continuously stirring with the fork. Why do you do this? because if you just dumped the eggs into the warm coconut milk, they’d scramble and get chunky. You don’t want your eggs cooked by the heat, because that’s not Good Eats. So you do the tempering thing to warm the eggs up slowly, to keep them from cooking. Do another small ladle of the coconut milk and keep stirring. Okay, now that you’ve got the eggs warmed up, they shouldn’t cook when you pour the whole thing into the pot.

Okay, now whisk it all together, and add your flavoring. If you’re me, add some essential oil, because apparently that’s fun.

Now, you put the pot into the fridge. Let it cool down all the way before attempting to use your ice cream maker. Some people say overnight but I don’t have that kind of patience. A couple hours is all I can manage. It seems to work out just fine, though. Now, prepare your ice cream maker.

This is our ice cream maker. It’s some gigantic monstrosity produced by Sears in the 70s. It will make up to 6 quarts of ice cream, but does just fine with smaller batches as well. it also looks very much like something that might melt a Nazi face if you weren’t careful with it. Seriously, giant wooden barrel-thing with a golden eagle nailed to it? That’s far too epic for something so mundane as ice cream, but it does make the whole process more dramatic. Thanks, Craigslist. Your ice cream maker probably isn’t this, but this is where things might get different. just runyour ice cream maker according to the directions.

Pour the mix into the chamber. Your chamber might be something you want to freeze overnight first. Ours is just a steel drum.

You should see the ice cream start to set up a bit. if you want to add chocolate chips (and you do) now is a good time. Actually, this may be a little past time for my batch, given how firm the ice cream is, but whatever. It’ll work.

These are great chips for ice cream. Great flavor, and they’re tiny so they don’t take too much work to chew even when frozen. Booyah.

Just put some in there. The recipe says 1/2 cup? I just did a couple handfuls. I’m not big on measuring, you may have noticed.

There you go! Now, I don’t advise putting your ice cream into a cheapy plastic thing like I did here. I ended up breaking it while i was eating because it doesn’t handle the cold well. So maybe glass? Or maybe get some of those waxed cardboard pint containers like store-bought ice cream comes in? Anyway, you can eat it right away if you like soft-serve texture, or put it in the freezer overnight for more traditional ice cream texture. it’s great both ways, honestly. The only thing i will caution you about again is making sure that your extracts are extracts. I didn’t get sick from eating a whole pint of this stuff with the essential oil in it, but holy eff was it minty. It was like all caps MINTY. Tasty, creamy, etc, but so much minty. So yeah, be aware of that, in case you are similarly affected with being a dumbass.

I’ve since made another batch of this stuff with raspberries and vanilla extract and it was insanely good. probably some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had. I made a double batch and it lasted me two days, mostly because it was in two containers. if you want to do berries (and you do) then follow this recipe: Blueberry Dark Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Any berries will do, so I just used some frozen raspberries I had on hand. I’ve also got a bunch of frozen cherries, blueberries, and some kind of berry mix that sounds tasty. Next attempt will probably be a sorbet, I’m thinking. No eggs, no coconut milk, just pureed fruit processed through an ice cream maker. Nothing could be simpler, and I already know I love it because I even like the solid-frozen versions I’ve made in the past. If I do that, I’ll absolutely tell you how it goes.

Okay, what else? Oh yeah, my calisthenics. I’m digging on them. I’m even doing shoulderstand squats, which I don’t love, just because I believe in the program. Only two days in so far, but I’ve already figured out which of the movements are my weaknesses based on how I feel when I’m doing the uber-simple versions. Pushups and pullups. Yup. I knew that already. What’s weird is that I’ve got giant arms, right? They’ve always been big and muscular, but never very strong for some reason. So I’m hoping that working on these things will change all that. I also cleared a space in the basement for my rowing machine, and I’m hoping to get ramped up on that, too. Should be fun!

Now, on to the links!

We evolved to eat meat, but how much is too much? – When all the remains alive on the surface of the planet is your gaping maw and the rumbling digestive machinery it feeds into, then you will have eaten enough meat. Seriously, NPR is kind of bugging me. It’s not all bad, but they’re not doing anything even resembling investigative work, and that bothers me. I suppose i can’t blame them too much, but still. If you’re going to report that a study shows a certain result, I think you owe it to your readers to at least know what sort of study it is and what it actually says. Especially if you’re from a reputable news organization. That being said, their recommendation for 2-3 servings of meat per week is laughable. I can’t even keep to 2-3 servings of meat per meal.

Paula Deen Cuts Carbs, Drops 30 Lbs – Yeah. Yeah.

My Top 10 Reasons Why Your “Top 10 Reasons I’m Not Paleo” Are Flawed – Great breakdown of a truly stupid rant. First off, WAPF and Paleo/Primal shouldn’t be fighting. We’re all on the same team, trying to help modern people achieve improved health by looking to traditional lifestyle choices. We have so much more in common than we do different, there’s no need at all to be squabbling. Cheeseslave, however, seems to think that there’s something to be gained by writing a moronic, intellectually dishonest blog post complaining about paleo. I guess there is something to be gained: Blog hits. And if you don’t mind selling out the health of your readers to score cheap points, then I guess that’s a fair trade to make. if it sounds like I’m mad, it’s because I am. Anyone who takes anything more than a cursory glance at the paleo lifestyle knows it’s not about historical recreation, and that it’s a far more varied and dynamic diet than “Meat, meat and more meat”. Anyone who claims that paleo is about moving into the wilderness, or that paleo is necessarily low-carb simply hasn’t done any research and is fighting straw men. Anyway, Primal Toad does a great job tearing this post apart, and I’m glad he did. Idiocy like that of Cheeseslave’s post needs to be refuted, on principle.

Time-Restricted Feeding Without Reducing Caloric Intake – This is something I’ve been interested in. It’s not intermittent fasting, it’s eating the same amount you normally would. You just eat it in a smaller chunk of time. So you eat your regular dose of food, but you don’t eat at breakfast (or whatever). It sounds like there are a lot of benefits to it, based on some studies like this one (in animals) but also from a lot of anecdotes from others in the paleo movement. Maybe worth a try?

Seasonality Chart – Such a cool infographic!

Meat consumption in relation to mortality from cardiovascular disease in Japanese men and women – Observational study, so it doesn’t prove anything, but it’s always nice to see people looking at the right things with their epidemiological studies for once.

Top 7 most common reactions to your high-fat diet – Mark Sisson hits a home run again. He always does, honestly.

The crucial reason you need more gelatin in your diet – I’ve been doing more slow-cooked chuck roasts, and there’s definitely some connective tissue in there that converts to gelatin, but I still haven’t made any stock. I’ve got plans, though. So many plans.

Vegetarian diet and mental disorders – Again, observational, but it’s an interesting idea. Maybe not enough long-chain omega-3s? Not enough saturated fat? I know i’ve talked to a number of people who went on very low fat diets and got super depressed as a result. I’d love to see more research in this area to see what’s actually causing the effect, and if it’s actually a dietary cause at all.

The very Gnollish J Stanton interview on everything – I love J Stanton of gnolls.org, as I’ve mentioned before. This is a fun itnerview of him by Richard Nikoley of Free the Animal.

Okay, that’s probably enough. Enjoy, and thanks for reading!

4 comments on “Coconut milk ice cream, calisthenics and the links I know you love

  1. katina says:

    It’s like that whole “gym strong” versus “functional strong” You know – the guys with the huge muscles but they can’t do a pull up. it usually becomes really obvious in games like survivor where the firemen do better than the gym rats. plus, from a survival standpoint, it seems like it would make sense to be able to do a pull up and/or a muscle up would be good…you may want to look into that for the zombie apocalypse…

    But, the ice cream – it looks yummy. I keep saying I want an ice cream maker, but then I keep not getting one because it would require finding a place to keep it.

    • Septimus says:

      Exactly. I don’t want to get too deep down the “functional fitness” rabbit hole, but I think there’s a lot to be said for being strong, and having mastery over one’s own body. I just want to have the strength and skill to move myself through my environment, or any environment I choose. And yeah, there’s a lot to be said for being able to stay out of the clutches of the ravening undead. Being able to climb up trees or buildings or scale fences would be super key for that stuff. Ideally doing all of it while wearing a pack and carrying weapons, too.

      Most ice cream makers are actually pretty reasonably-sized. About like any other small kitchen appliance. Mine is more like a spare bedroom where you sleep if you want to have the really bad nightmares.

  2. I love the way you wrote the ice cream recipe – it cracked me up (I seriously LOL’ed at the minty comment and when I saw your ancient — but super cool — ice cream maker)! You’ve inspired me to look for an ice cream maker on Craiglist (can you believe I don’t have one!?). I’ve also been craving that blueberry chocolate chip ice cream you linked ever since I saw the pic. So maybe I’ll just order the ice cream maker on Amazon. Hmm. :)

    Btw – do you know if the coconut milk is in a BPA-free can? I’ve been looking for a good creamy kind sold in glass (and with no funky additives) but it’s impossible to find! I’ve been mixing a couple of spoonfuls of coconut manna (Nutiva is my fave) with water, and that usually results in “coconut milk” – works well for baking and cooking, but I don’t know how well it will do in an ice cream maker … will prob be a bit watery unless I’m very careful with how much water I use, yeah?

    Anyway, just wanted to stop by and say that your post made me crave ice cream close to midnight (thanksalot, haha). Great links shared towards the end too – thanks!

    • Septimus says:

      Awk, thanks! That ice cream maker was such a Craigslist treasure. I think we paid $10 for it and they gave us a big bag of rock salt with it? Crazy. But hey, I’ve already gotten my money’s worth just in savings over buying coconut milk ice cream from the store for $6/pint. And mine’s better anyway, and sweetened with raw, unfilteredhoney instead of high fructose cactus syrup. All good things. My next batch is going to be just a sorbet, I think. Maybe just pureed pineapple run through the ice cream maker to see what happens? It’ll be a delicious experiment, I’m sure.

      I don’t think so. That’s the coconut milk you find in every store around here, and I’m not in love with it. I’ve been looking for something better, but without much luck. I’ve got a couple more places to check before I give up on local and start looking online. I know I read about a good brand somewhere, I just have to dig up the link. If I find it, I’ll definitely let you know. I’m going to be making ice cream regularly (I totally am) so I’m going to need a source for some quality coconut milk.

      You’re very welcome!

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